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  • Writer's pictureHayley

I had been too busy to know that I was ill, but I'm not to busy to put this "Disease" in the grave.

Updated: Nov 20, 2017

So my last #health and #fitness blog was all about more "me" time as I embarked on a new journey embracing #yoga and veering more towards mindfulness and meditation. I was planning on taking more time out for just me..... With wedding season upon us there was no way I was able to take time out.... I still managed to squeeze a little mindfulness and mediation into my day, and found that its really helping with my restlessness and anxiety. I still don't sleep longer than 5 hours a night on average. This is partly to do with insomnia mixed with a hormonal imbalance.

Finally, after 3 months of waiting to see the specialist and 8 weeks of waiting for the results of my Radioactive iodine tests, I finally got my #diagnosis. Those of you that have read my previous blog will know that I was diagnosed with #Hyperthyroidism (an over active thyroid) at the end of May. Since then, I have had numerous tests to find the cause. I've had drugs, blood tests, scans and even became a superhero (just kidding) when they injected me with radioactive iodine. After an extremely painful and definitely hormonal waiting time I finally got an answer. I have Graves Throtoxicosis ( #GravesDisease). Sounds deadly I know but it's just named after the founding doctor of course. #Graves is an #autoimmune disease and there are 80 different strands out there. With these diseases your immune system makes antibodies that attack your good tissues in your body. Trust me to have a body that doesn't know what its doing...sound familiar? In my case, right now my antibodies have attached on to the thyroid and decided to create as much drama as possible and encourage the thyroid to release more (thyroxine) hormones into my blood stream.... Seriously I am already hormonal at the best of times, I'll happily agree with that! Why my body feels the need to set me up like a bomb ticking in a firework factory, because we all know how that will end, is beyond me. But there we have it! Basically I am one hormonal Hayley that even I wouldn't want to be around at times..

I have felt awful for most of this year. I can have 10 different personalities in just one day. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm flat, I'm on top of the world. To be honest I have absolutely no idea who the real me is right now. I don't know who I am and what I think about anything. I'm really trying to get a grip on life before I either be so nice someone stamps on my dreams or be so overly dramatic (me never) and end up with no friends...

So with the diagnosis out of the way we could work out a way to deal with the disease and try to beat it.

So walking in to meet my Doctor (lets call him Dr N), I was a little anxious to say the least. I had to wait what felt like a life time... Ok only 8 weeks but that felt like forever. I sat down, he told me what was wrong. Then he looked at me and said “Right Hayley heres our Plan of Action.... “ Omg, just those words and he was the best doctor ever. I love a POA! Those who know me personally know I can only work from my lists; lists of to dos, list of clients to call, lists of appointments, even lists of lists... I instantly felt comfortable around him. So our plan of action is to try Intense Drug Therapy. "Strong drug taking" I guess. For the next 18 months, I need 9 months of continuously good results for them to be happy that the treatment is working. If after 18 months it's not, Dr N will call it a day and stop pumping me with these drugs. I will have Radioactive iodine Therapy to try and kill the thyroid and get total control over it, and then failing that I will have to have the thyroid removed. Personally I would just say lets just cut it out now and save all the drama but that is the exact reason I am not a doctor. My doctor was so passionate about helping people that I was positively convinced that his 50/50% chance of curing the thyroid problem was 100% at least until I relapse. It's amazing how positivity, a friendly smile and a plan of action can completely turn your day around.

Its always taken me so long to get a diagnosis when i'v felt ill, it took me 6 months to convince the GP I had something wrong with my heart, a year later they found I had a wall between my chambers missing. This time It has taken just under a year to have this diagnosis. The doctors and even consults have said “you look well, we don't think anything is wrong.” on both accounts. Im not someone that ever really gets unwell, I don't get colds, I don't think i'v ever had the flu, and I hardly get sick. So when I say something isn't right it generally isn't. Illness can be invisible. Just because I have got out of bed, put on some makeup and brushed my hair, doesn't mean that I feel well, i'm just putting on my face to get me through my day at work, making my clients happy. To me they have always come first, I don't call in sick and never let them down. I manage. I can work 13 hour days at peak times and travel up town, so If I don't feel like talking or socialising at the end of a busy 6 day work week, thats why, right now all I want is someone to hold my hand wrap me up like a burrito and cuddle me. I never realised how much your thyroid effects your health, it controls pretty much everything in your body. Im hungry all the time, dying of thirst, extremely anxious and restless, I cannot keep still at all, my mind thinks 100x a minute, it never stops, which is why I can never sleep longer than a few hours at a time, i'm mentally exhausted, as my mind is always running, my body is constantly fighting against itself, I cannot handle the heat, my heart started to race to 153 beats a minute resting, It was nuts, I started to feel like I was going a bit nuts to be honest. The only upside to all this was that my periods had nearly stopped they lasted only for one day if that. AMAZING!!! This was a symptom but I thought nothing of it, to be honest what woman would complain that they weren't having periods.. I certainly wasn't, I just thought it was all part of the growing older process, you know it happens as you age but I didn't really think how serious it was. It was only when the doctor asked how old did I really think I was that I realised it could be a problem. Now i'm being pumped with Hormones they will be back with a vengeance. At times I feel a little low but think that is more to do with the hormones that are being pumped into me. The drugs have made me feel sick, have given me the worse stomach pains I've ever had, and I feel exhausted mentally and physically, but I wont let it stop me. I'll never sit at home and feel sorry for myself. There is nothing to feel sorry for! I'm always lucky because it could always be worse. I work every day, I'm back on track with my youtube videos, I'm still making sure I'm hitting the gym at least twice a week, and yoga once. I'm trying to make this journey as easy as possible. I'm loving the herbal teas, and eating healthy again, I'm laying off the alcohol (until the next party at least). I'm just doing everything I can to give my body the strength and power to beat this disease. Its going to be one of the hardest 18 months of my life, I need to focus on me. Having a doctor that you can really feel like you can trust that's as passionate as you are about your job, that really leaves you feeling inspired and determined to beat this with you has left me feeling stronger than ever. We cannot cure the disease but I can fight it enough to stop it from attacking my thyroid. If my body has already survived my heart stopping twice this will be a walk in the park. Bring it on!


Hay. x

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